


Aching

by JessiDWalton



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Don't read if guns or suicide trigger you, Literally all this is, M/M, Mentions of heavy depression, Not Happy, Short, Suicide, no happy ending, triggering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 20:25:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17494757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessiDWalton/pseuds/JessiDWalton
Summary: Ever feel so lost you just want it to end? All happiness is drained and you can't escape? Everyone does. Even the most outgoing, extroverts. Even the most popular, famous people. Even Roger Taylor.





	Aching

Roger felt his chest tighten as he stared out the window of his shared apartment. He felt… blank. Yet he also felt such an overwhelming mix of emotions.

 

The tears had been pouring out of his eyes ever since his lover fell asleep. His sweet, caring boyfriend… what he had ever done to deserve Brian… he'd never know… but even now. No matter how Roger tried to force himself… no matter how he tried to pretend to be happy… he couldn't anymore… He didn't feel joy in anything.

 

Not drumming. Singing. Being with Brian. Having sex. Smoking and drinking didn't even take its toll anymore…

 

There was just an aching feeling… at _all_ time in his heart. He always wanted to cry. Always wanted to just tear his heart out of his chest to stop the pain.

 

He didn't know why he felt this way. And even when he tried to talk about it with Brian, the older man didn't understand the way Roger _needed_ him to… there was no way for Roger to explain that to his sweet lover… Bria tried all he could….

 

Encouraging words just made Roger doubt himself more. Strict, hard words made him feel worthless. Making love or cracking jokes made him feel like Brian was ignoring the situation… and he knew it stressed Brian out…. It stressed all the boys out… and Roger… hated that he did that to his _family._

 

He just wanted to make everything right… Brian deserved someone so much better. Someone who didn't make him stress or worry… someone who could love him properly.

 

Someone who wasn't Roger… and that thought made Roger burst into tears as he loved Brian with all that was left of his aching heart.

 

With a deep breath, Roger looked around. He could barely make anything out with his blurry, already bad vision. Brian's sleeping form was extra blurry, but the gun in his hands was clear enough.

 

All he wanted was to end their suffering. To end  _his_.

 

The quiet room was filled with the _click_ of the safety. The weight of the gun felt like nothing as he raised it to his head.

 

_Be over. Over for good. It hurts. I hurt. Just want it to end. Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it-_

 

A loud bang filled the room, but only noticed by the one breathing form, now jerked awake from the noise.


End file.
